Dress to IMPRESS, Not DISTRESS

“I also want women to dress modestly, with decency and propriety, not with braided hair or gold or pearls or expensive clothes, but with good deeds, appropriate for women who profess to worship God.” 1 Timothy 2:9-10 NIV

What Do Your Clothes Say About You?

Everyone takes notice when a stylish woman enters a room. Her outfit is tasteful, her hair and makeup are impeccable, and her shoes are polished and scuff-free. In other words, she’s got it going on! Although the Lord wants His daughters and sons to look presentable, we have to be mindful not to overdo it. Some jobs may have a more relaxed dress code, while others, such as sales, require a wardrobe that reflects success—expensive suits and shoes, manicured nails, and expert grooming. In sales, first impressions are lasting, and presentation is vital. Though dressing to the nines in Prada and Gucci is nice, the Lord has a better wardrobe plan—to “clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience” (Colossians 3:12).

I’ll never forget the time I wore black leather pants to work, where I was a project manager at a major newspaper. I was in my twenties and had an hourglass figure, and I remember exactly what I wore that day—butter-soft leather pants, a cashmere turtleneck sweater, and black designer pumps. But I’ll also never forget the reaction I received from one of my colleagues who knew I was a Christian. Joel (not his real name), a middle-aged Jewish man, couldn’t help but “admire” my outfit and fixed his gaze on my hips. “Hmm, hmm, hmm, Carol. I bet you drive those deacons crazy on Sundays when you wear those pants.” Flattered (how dumb was I?), I simply smiled and said, “Oh, silly! I don’t wear these to church!”

We had a good laugh, but later that day in the cafeteria, one of my dear sisters in Christ pulled me aside. “Carol, you know, you really shouldn’t wear those to work. They’re pretty revealing,” she said, motioning with her eyes toward my rear end. I got the picture. And I never wore them to work—or anyplace else—again. If a simple thing like wearing leather pants could change the way a co-worker looked at me, then I was willing to retire them.

Looking back, I can see that those leather pants represented my life “BC” (before Christ) of clubbing, drinking, and partying with my single girlfriends. Maybe this was the Lord’s wake-up call for me to retire those pants—and their connotations—for good. I like looking my best and feel more confident when I’m well dressed.

Although God wants us to represent Him well physically, I think He’s more concerned about our spiritual condition. A harsh, critical spirit isn’t flattering on anyone!

POWER MOVE

Wardrobe choices are always personal, but remember that when you’re in a place of business you will have limitations, even in the most casual settings. Clean, pressed, and neat clothes never go out of style. Most of all, remember that you are in essence “working for the Lord” (Colossians 3:23). And He’s One Boss you don’t want to disappoint.

MY CONFESSION

“I will be sure to represent the Lord well, even in my clothing choices. He is my ultimate Boss.”


~ Carol Mackey is the author of Sistagirl Devotions which is a GREAT book for Winning Women. For More Information about Carol visit www.CarolMackeyOnline.com.

NO LONGER "STUPID"

I have been called “forgetful” and “absentminded” from different folk, since childhood. As time passed, all of my minute mistakes had formed into a big, stinking blob of dumbness. The funk had enveloped me and strangely morphed into a form of acceptation. I began to accept those insults and saw truth in them, rather than seeing them as solely being areas of improvement. Irresponsibility had spilled over into adulthood and gave me struggles with timeliness, punctuality, and management. I have accomplished much, but my accomplishments came with possibly unnecessary hard work. My excellence was not obtained easily and I dealt with both negativity and positivity to get to where I am today. Through it all, I made it and am still making it. Because of choice to accept Christ, I am no longer “stupid.”

My story is just like yours. I worked for what I wanted. I pushed myself to get to where I desired to be. I had to create something outside the visible when I thought that I was incapable of doing the unthinkable. I had to lean on something much bigger than myself, the trees, the buildings, the world. I needed to confide in a Higher Power, one that could not be created by the human mind or have a specific face.

I reached within my soul to find it. My heart and mind helped me, too.

Because I’d started going to church at a young age, I was more receptive to the Lord. Jesus was not that complicated to understand because I had gotten years of Sunday morning lessons where I learned about who God was, is, and will always be. I learned about His son, Jesus. I learned about the Holy Spirit. I learned that all three are a whole trinity, or an amazing, powerful 3-in-1 force. I learned about the benefits of accepting Jesus and the detriments of avoiding Him. Everything made sense to me in my maturation. As a result, I knew more about the Lord by adulthood. I knew about what He could do. As time evolved, I made choices to spend time in the quiet of my home to speak to my Creator because I knew that He was accessible. I knew that He was everywhere and available (because He is so great).

Because of my decision to accept and confide in Him, my “flaws” made sense to me. I realized that through all of my confusion, I was still capable of succeeding. My setbacks, as we all have, reminded me that I needed to stay in touch with the Lord.

I could not help but to grow when I knew that I could direct my frustrations to my Creator. Not only that, I saw results after my prayers. I heard the insults less. Mistakes are still being made today, but I am more encouraged. I feel less downtrodden. And whenever I do feel guilty for slipping or “forgetting,” I run to the Lord through my heart and mind. I tell Him that I am upset with myself and I let him know how I truly feel.

So stop calling yourself bad names and stop allowing people to ruin your happiness. Just as I tell you, I tell myself. We need to remain encouraged and keep one another empowered to stay focused on our life’s mission. The Lord has given us all a spirit of power, but some of us aren’t even willing to use it.

You are intelligent and you are capable. Don’t accept “stupid,” “forgetful,” “dumb,” or any other negative term. You make mistakes, but you are still ABLE. The Lord is giving you breath. Not man.

"For God has not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind." 2 Timothy 1:7

Aricle by Neely Terrell

Author - Editor- Librarian
Twitter: @TheBrownOrange
"Know Your Worth"

Want to MARRY? Let God CHOOSE!

Recently I have been pressing in with prayer on marriage. It is my desire to remarry and there are certain lessons I have learned recently. I would like to share them with you.

God is MOST concerned about spiritual compatibility AND purpose compatibility more than anything else. If we are unequally yoked with an unbeliever or with someone whose spiritual level is different from ours then we will not make it as a couple. This is regardless of income, community status, corporate status or church status.

Our purpose MUST line up as well. What were we called to do? Who are we supposed to be? With the wrong spouse in our lives we may get to our purpose but we may struggle a lot more to meet it. Or we may never do it at all. With the right person, things flow between both of you. There is an understanding and compatibility that resembles a glove that fits a hand well. Friction is at a minimum as you are both heading in the same direction. The tug-of-war feeling dissipates when the purpose of both marriage partners are aligned.

Appearance and other temporal factors (such as skin tone, height, weight, earnings, education, etc.) matters more to us than it does to God. We sometimes miss God because of what we consider to be right for us. What if your perfect spouse is 5 inches taller than you and much darker than you would have preferred? What if he is a mechanic by day but a student of the Word in the evenings because he is preparing to preach the gospel? What if she doesn’t have long, flowing hair but she has creative ideas that can help you with your business? Many happily married people have stated that their spouses were right before their eyes, but until God unveiled their partner they thought he or she was just another person (or just a good friend).

God does NOT need our help in finding a spouse. He does, however, need our cooperation. We need to prepare ourselves to receive who He has tailor-made just for us. This also means that our biases (racial, educational, financial, appearance, etc.) must be laid out before Him so that He can work on us. We may decide it is time to search for a spouse, so we do what we’ve always done: We get hooked up on blind dates, or we scope out the church for a brother or a sister. What I am learning is that these things can help us meet new people but we need to go to God DIRECTLY when seeking a spouse. Sometimes the person we think is right for us is not God’s best. He knows what we need. He knows WHO we need. And He knows what we need for the future. Our vision is only for the present, but God knows our entire life story and who would be best to help us fill in all the details and to share our experiences with us.

Our dependence on God for a spouse shows that we trust Him fully with our lives. When we insist on finding the love of our lives, and after we do we present to Him who we chose (which is what I did the first time) then we must be willing to handle the consequences of such a decision. If we depend on God to select our mates, then He is held fully responsible for how things turn out. And trust me, if He has ANYTHING to do with it, the marriage will be a match made in Heaven! This does not mean disagreements won’t come, nor does it mean sickness or financial trouble won’t appear, but you will have such a strong foundation that you will not be shaken by what comes. And divorce won’t be on your mind, either.

Many of us surrendered our hearts to Jesus Christ to be Savior, but we will take a lifetime in allowing Him to become Lord over all aspects of our lives. Let us allow Him into this very important area, that of choosing a spouse for us.

~ Article by Michelle Cameron
Author, "It's My Life and I Live Here: One Woman's Story."

Exit the Fire as Pure Gold!

“Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.”
Romans 5:3-4

One thing is certain: at least once in our lives, we will experience hardship. Even Jesus confirms that our lives on earth won’t be free of heartache and pain.

“In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” John 16:33

At one time or another, we’ve all doubted that God was really with us. It’s easy to trust and believe in Him when thing are going great – all is well on the job, you’ve got money in the bank, your marriage or relationship is thriving, your children are doing well in school, and you’re healthy and growing spiritually. But what happens when you get upsetting news from the doctor? Or your teenage daughter tells you she’s pregnant? Or your spouse leaves you for another woman? When your heart is broken, when you’ve been let down by a family member or friend, when you’ve experienced loss, it’s harder to trust in the Lord.

In Mark 9, when Jesus came upon a demon-possessed boy and his father, He told the man that anything is possible to him who believes (v.23). The father said, “I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!”(v. 24). I’m sure there’s been a similar time in your job when you doubted God was anywhere in sight. The new boss is on your case every minute for no reason at all. Your co-worker, once considered a friend, betrays your trust. You’re in the midst of a mess, and you wonder, Lord, are you there? The heart believes, but the flesh, which is weak, doubts.

The Word tells us to trust in the Lord with all our hearts and not place any strength in our own understanding (Proverbs 3:5). Trials and hardships are the times when we need God the most and must trust Him every step of the way. I can testify that we will be stronger, smarter, tougher, and more lovable at the end. And our fiery experiences will always bless us in some way – to build our faith, our character, our self-esteem, and our anointing.

The funny thing is, God knows the outcome of a situation before it even arises. But He wants us to see His power and deliverance in action. He knows what He can do; He wants us to know it also.

POWER MOVE

No matter how tough the trial, you can come out of the fire as Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego did (Daniel 3:26). Nebuchadnezzar saw “four men, untied and walking around in the midst of the fire! No harm has come to them! And the appearance of the fourth is like that of a god!” (v.25 NET). Jesus was that fourth Man! Remember to call on Him, especially during tough times. Sister, your suffering is but for a season. Look to your future and spend your time planning for it.

MY CONFESSION
“As I walk through the firestorms of life with the Lord at my side, the flames of doubt and fear will not touch me. I will emerge as pure gold!”

~ Carol Mackey is the author of Sistagirl Devotions which is a GREAT book for Winning Women. For More Information about Carol visit www.CarolMackeyOnline.com.

Tanica L. Morant

We finally caught up with Winning Woman Tanica L. Morant. We located her in Wilmington, NC at a local Beauty Salon. However, this diva wasn’t there getting her hair done. She was there working, making someone look like a new woman. That’s right. Tanica is a Hair Stylist and she’s been doing it for over 17 years. But there’s much more to Tanica than smocks, shears, and shampoo. Tanica will not only make your head look pretty, but she’ll also fill it with wisdom. And if you follow the ‘Winning Woman’ Page on facebook or twitter, then you’ve already had a taste of the knowledge she shares. Majority of the status updates are done by her. For the most part, Tanica is ‘Winning Woman’. Though she runs the Winning Woman page, she’s the creator and founder of a local woman’s group called “Ladies Loving Life”, she’s putting together a 3-day Women’s Conference this year… we finally squeezed in an appointment to get this powerful interview. So we hope that you’re just as excited as we are about this interview. Let’s get started.

WW: Hey Tanica, thanks for taking the time to do this interview. So you’ve been doing hair for a while. Does being a Hair Stylist expose you to a lot of what’s going on with women?

TANICA: I minister on a daily basis and it does expose you to a lot. Because being a Hair Stylist you take on a whole lot of caps; you become a psychologist, you become a mama, you become a friend… It’s just amazing the amount of confidence people put in you when they actually sit in your chair.

WW: So your clients get ministered to?

TANICA: My clients actually get ministered to. I don’t just do their head, but I put something in it.

WW: So Tanica, what makes you a Winning Woman?

TANICA: I’m a Winning Woman because every morning I wake up with a determination to do whatever I have to do to please God. It’s my love of working with people and children, especially women. It’s the impact I want to give to individual lives. I want to make a difference.

WW: There are a lot of women in the world. Do majority of women win?

TANICA: To be honest, it’s a lot of us who don’t win. That’s my main focus – to grab a hold to them, to pull them to where I am, and once they get to that point, prayerfully they’re going to pull other people. I mean we can all go higher just pulling on each other…trying to reach a goal.

WW: What is one of the biggest reasons that a lot of women don’t win?

TANICA: They don’t have confidence in themselves. They feel like they can’t make it. Someone told them somewhere along the road that they can’t do it. Some of the situations that they’re in they just feel they can’t make it. I know that’s part of the reason that I was put here – that the things I’ve been through in my life, it’s not for me, but it’s for somebody else. Just to be able to share my story, to just be able to help somebody else, to help women… that’s my ministry. And not only women, but females in general. They’re my passion. That’s what cleaves to me.

WW: What are some of the most common frustrations women are facing today?

TANICA: I would have to say finances and relationships.

WW: What are the most common frustrations with relationships?

TANICA: When I say “relationships”, I’m not just talking about with men, but also their friends and family. A lot of single women say that they’re lonely. Many of them have poor self-esteem. A lot of the married ones feel that their husbands are not doing what they’re supposed to be doing. Or they feel they’re incomplete or they haven’t arrived in a certain area that they think they should be at a certain time.

WW: And what’s the common problem with finances?

TANICA: Everybody’s broke! (LOL)

WW: With everything that’s going on – society downfall, the economy, divorce rate is on the high, etc. I guess my question is, ‘Can a woman still win?”

TANICA: YES! Every morning that I wake up, though everyday is not always peaches & cream, I rest on the assurance that – GOD’S GOT IT! I don’t have to worry. He got it. Even though it might not be what I want it to look like or seem like I want it to seem, He got it. I trust and depend on Him totally. There is nothing else. I have a daughter who’s almost 20 and I’m also teaching her how to lean and depend. I don’t want to be a crutch to her. I want to be an inspiration. I want her to look at me and say, “You know what, my mama got through this and she got through this because of Jesus.” I want her to realize that Jesus is all she has too.

WW: So where do you get your encouragement from?

TANICA: The Word of God encourages me. Also my life’s connections with people I surround myself with. Another one of my biggest encouragements is having a mother that’s saved. And she encourages me on a daily basis. She’s not just my mother, but she’s my best friend, she’s my prayer partner… she fills a really big role in my life. She’s truly a blessing, because so many people are not blessed to have parents that are saved who are walking the same walk that they’re walking.

WW: What if a woman came to you today? She’s been down and out, she feels whipped and ready to quit. But she heard about the ‘Winning Woman’ Page and she wants to be a Winning Woman. Where does she start? What would you tell her?

TANICA: That would totally depend on who the woman is and what my spirit guides me to do. Because in some situations when a woman approaches you, you can’t just pour. Sometimes they just want that listening ear. Sometimes they just want you to pray for them. Sometimes they just want a hug. It just depends on how this woman approaches me. Is this woman saved? Is this woman not saved? So it will totally depend on how the Holy Spirit directs me.

WW: Besides running the ‘Winning Woman’ pages through Social Network, you also created a local group called ‘Ladies Loving Life’ within your community. What is that all about?

TANICA: ‘Ladies Loving Life’ is a vision that was planted inside of me. I knew where I was 10 or 15 years ago. I know the different levels I went through. I wanted to bring a group of women together with different backgrounds and different things going on in their life, to let them know that “You’re not going through this by yourself. Somebody else is either going through it or gone through it.” We can lean on each other. I’m trying to build a community of females that can lift each other up, because so many of us are hurting. You often just take yourself and put yourself in a cocoon, because you don’t want to tell someone else your story. You fear they’re going to tell somebody else. But even when we come together: if you only attach to one person, that’s one person in your life that you didn’t have before.

WW: I heard that you’re also putting together a Women’s Conference for your local church. Tell us about that.

TANICA: I’m doing a Women’s Conference titled “Responding to Life’s Situations”. It’s a 3-day event that will elevate you in the areas of spirituality, health, finances, and relationships. Because in today’s society, these are the main things that are affecting women today. This will take place August 5-7, 2011

WW: When it’s all said and done, what do you want people to say about Tanica L. Morant?

TANICA: That I gave it my all. My main focus was to please God. To be a light that shines so much that I don’t have to verbally express out of my mouth what my beliefs are, who I trust in, you just know it. Just my presence itself will let you know that God is first in my life. No matter what I touch, I just want you to see Him; through all of my actions; no matter what I do; through all of the conversations; my work; whatever I do, I just want His Light to shine.

~ Tanica L. Morant is a mother, teacher, Hair Stylist, and Winning Woman Administrator. She's the creator and owner of 'Ladies Loving Life'. You can connect with Tanica by joining the Winning Woman's Page on facebook - http://facebook.com/WinningWoman

Neely Terrell

I wish you could hear what I’m hearing. It goes deeper than music. This harmony touches your soul. These sounds come from a Winning Woman holding an extravagant guitar. When her fingers connect with the strings, they produce a soulful sound that defines dynamic. When she adds her melodic voice to it, you experience what true beauty sounds like. She is the symbol of ‘uniqueness’. She is the sign for ‘distinction’. She has a gift of making memories, because once you meet her, she sticks, and you’ll never forget her. I’m talking about Winning Woman Neely Terrell. This Atlanta, GA native is also an administrator for the Winning Woman’s page on facebook. We contacted Neely in Buffalo, New York to share her life with the world.

WW: Hello Neely. We are honored to have this interview with you. Please share with us, ‘What makes you a Winning Woman?’

NEELY: I know my worth. I know that if God is for me, no one can be against me. I know that if I continue to remain positive, I will definitely win, no matter the circumstance. I am a winning woman because I am full of determination and perseverance and have witnessed my surroundings change in good ways because of these traits. Others notice what I have done and are proud of me. The Bible says that we will be known by our “fruit.” Well, my fruit is delicious. It’s not rotten or bruised. It’s nearly perfect.

WW: Neely, you are most definitely known by your fruits. One thing we noticed about you is that you have 'many' fruits. You have many talents. You write. You sing. You mentor. You bless others in many ways. What do you like to do the most? What's your passion? What's your purpose? What do you think that God has you here for?

NEELY: I love to make people smile the most. To be honest, I get such a wonderful feeling after I have made someone smile or feel relieved from my advice. I love to interact with others and I can communicate with anyone. So, communication is my passion.

My purpose in life is to shine my light so that others can also see the way. I am to be like Christ, as we all are, and show others Him through my accomplishments and optimism. God has me here to keep people smiling and encouraged when thinking of Him. I'm extremely optimistic and I love to make others laugh. He wants me to show people that He is a happy and loving God...and anyone or anything involving Him possesses joy.

WW: You know, there's someone who's reading this interview right now who may need to smile. They may feel frustrated and need encouragement. They may be on the brink of giving up. But God has lead them to read this interview right now at this very moment. What do you have to say to them?

NEELY: Get to know who YOU are as a woman. As women, we cannot help but want to nurture others; whether it is a man, our family, or friends. We forget about our own well-being many times, which is undoubtedly detrimental to our physical, mental, and spiritual health. We should never get to a point to where we are too busy to spend time with our own selves! When you are able to spend time alone, you are able to strengthen your self worth. More importantly, the Lord is able to strengthen your spirituality. And once that's strengthened, everything else will follow. It starts with you spending time with YOU, first, though.

WW: That is great advice Neely! That's what we love about you. You're always willing to share your thoughts. Often times, you share your thoughts in writing, whether it's through books, blogs, social media, etc. Can you share with us your book projects and any other writing projects you're working on?

NEELY: Currently, a new book,SUPER SINGLES, ACTIVATE! Testimonies to Inspire and Uplift the Single Woman, is under review. It is a compilation of stories from single, Christian women who were willing to tell their stories about love, life, and God's grace. It is my first co-edited book. The other editor, Alexis "Fly" Jones, partnered with me in this project and it has been an awesome experience. It is available on amazon.com.

My other book, thebrownorange: My Life in Chapters and Chunks, is my memoir. That will be available later in the year. I have put that book to the side to complete working on the Super Singles book (as it was a one-year project). Once my memoir is complete, I will have a total of 3 book projects under my belt. How exciting!


WW: Yes, Neely that sounds exciting. 'Super Singles, Activate!', I can't wait. Your first book was about singles also right? You seem to be an answer for those who are struggling with being single. Throughout your experience counseling singles, what are some of the biggest challenges that they face?

NEELY: Thank you. Most singles struggle with knowing their worth, how to love themselves, and not knowing how to be alone. They tend to settle for less than the best in relationships. They can't answer how they feel about their own selves, but they want someone else to fill their voids. These are the women that my heart goes out to because I truly understand. I was there, so I want to help them.

WW: That is awesome that you're helping them, because there are many women struggling with loneliness. Is it important for these women to become complete and whole within themselves before they start a relationship?

NEELY: Oh most definitely! Now, I am not sure if we will ever be able to be complete in ourselves. But as long as we depend on God we can constantly work toward completion. Some people would rather someone or something else fill in the gaps.

WW: When it's all said and done, what do you want people to remember about you? What will they say about Neely Terrell?

NEELY: Well, I would love for people to remember my passion for motivating others in various ways. Whether through YouTube videos, blogs, web posts, or verbal communication, I want them to remember that I wanted to encourage others to have a zest for life. I want them to keep in mind that I do not have joy and peace from my own doing but that of God's.

~ Neely Terrell is an Author, Editor, and School Librarian who has a passion for encouraging others. You can contact Neely on facebook.

DON'T QUIT!

You have so much potential to do even greater things. The more you trust God and know Him, the more you will grow in Christ. As time passes, He manifests what He has implanted in you to overcome various obstacles and reach your dreams victoriously. Worship Him now (in advance). You are in training, not only to succeed for yourself. But more importantly, to be a blessing to others you will meet on life's unpredictable journey with your testimonies from life's various tests. There's is more in store for you. Hang in there!

In life, you start out as a seed; then become vine-like; and then you grow stronger and stronger becoming a tall tree with many leaves and branches that represent all your talents and gifts. Some of them you can see and some that are still waiting to blossom. Even though people can try to pick your leaves, God gives you more and you are still standing. People are constantly leaning on you for strength in times when they are weak, but you are still standing. All types of storms come in your life... But you are still standing!

Hold your head up and stand strong as a Winning Woman of God! You are royalty! You are not anything negative others may try to say about you! You are child of God!

Obedience and honoring God's words should always be your focus. Not what the nay-sayer's say about you. Let those negative words and thoughts keep rolling pass you in the wind. Just say, "I shall trust God!" Then do something they don't expect. Tell them (with a big smile), "God Bless You." :-)

You are still worthy of the blessings God has in store for you! You are amazing! You are smart! You are beautiful! You are gifted! You are strong and NO weapon formed against you shall prosper!

Because most of all... you are a child of the King!
You have an amazing inheritance! AMEN!

Keep moving by Faith, because God is not finished with you yet!

You have not crossed the finish line in the accomplishment of all your dreams! Keep moving forward into your divine destiny!
Trust God! Pray & Obey!
The best is yet to come! AMEN!


Peace & Blessings!

~ Carolyn Gamble is a Motivational & Inspirational Speaker, Empowerment Coach, and Missionary. You can reach her by email, CarolynGambleSpeaker@yahoo.com or on facebook.

(PS: Dear Lord, please bless each person reading this to not give up on their dreams and to always trust You! AMEN!;)